Thursday, March 16, 2006

Starbucker: Shrubber for hire

Why do they say 'Ni', anyway? There are far better words... like kumquat... why aren't they the Jedi Knights who say,'Kumquat'? That's what I would be.

JON: "Hey, Fluke, this is kind of a silly challenge... what are you gonna do?"

FLUKE: "Kumquat!"

JON: "Oooooo-kay."

While I wasn't actually certain just what I was gonna do, Jon happened to catch me at just the right time.

Immediately, I began pacing back and forth... wondering what to do... then, as if the FGotFotNJOw herself heard my mental pleas, I slipped on a banana peel and bonked my noggin on the corner of the coffee table. As I lay there on the floor, maybe bleeding to death, I had a vision... Five men... possibly soldiers from the future were concentrating on something on the ceiling - staring off into the corner over there... but then, the one closest to me looked me in the eye, and without speaking a word, told me what I had to do...

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I had to make an area of cone shrubs!... but where?

I immediately hopped up and ran outside. I chose the area out back.

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And brought in a dozen (or so) shrubs that I quickly shaped into cones, but durn it! It turns out they were unionized, and my shaping them infringed up upon their 'rights', so they began picketing me and chanting things like
"Say NO to Poodle Do!", and "We want Pruners, not a buncha Groomers!"

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Knowing what restless shrubberies like... I quickly calmed them down and was able to ease them into submission with a trusty FotNJOw hooka peace pipe.

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At that point, the shrubs began dancing around in a circle... and I had an epiphany - and it didn't even hurt! I thought... 'there must be some way to take advantage of these shrubs beyond simply entering them into a contest!' Quickly I channeled JJ's supreme entrepreneurial skillz, and decided to sell tickets to...

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Flukizmo's Magical Shrub Ride!

Now to sit back, and let the bank account swell up! Cha-ching!

Starbucker Out


Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Wow, how do I have to pay to sit on a pointed plant? That will be a great ride seveal diffrent worlds like: Fire Island, San Fancisco and Key West just to name a few

3:22 PM  
Blogger JawaJuice said...

Now that’s using your head! (eh…you do know I take 10% of your gross profits for the channeled entrepreneurial skills, right. I’ll assume the checks in the mail.)

Hey, and the slogan could be: “ Flukizmo’s Magical Shrub Ride: Ride some bush today!

3:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

remined me of the old earth group devo with the funky look.

anyway, i bet you are bushed after that story.

5:12 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Now that's what I call a hooka hooka burning love!

Well, OK, not actually.

5:34 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

BTW, did anyone else notice an unusual ammount of bananas and banana peels lying around? WHo's eating all these things?

5:35 PM  
Blogger B-901 model 567 micro-robotics said...

wow... I am speechless

2:30 AM  
Blogger Jango Fett said...

I think I have no comment Fluke.

5:13 AM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Your epiphany didn't hurt? Wow, you are heading towards an enlightened state, my friend.

And I was going to mke a comment along the lines of JJ's, but I think he put it nicely :)

10:07 AM  
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12:32 PM  

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