Thursday, March 02, 2006

Starbucker: Busted Bust

Making a scuplture... Lemme tell ya - this has been my most difficult challenge yet... both mentally AND mentally. Not so much because of the actual making of the thing, but first off, I had to figure out what was I gonna sculpt- because I wanted it to make a statement - and then, I had a lot of obstacles to overcome - a lot... and I'm not EVEN talking about my favorite sock that's come up missing.

Sit back - lemme tell you ALL about it:

First off, I knew... I just KNEW that I had to make a statement with whatever subject I chose... especially if Chancellor Palpy was gonna be judging. I knew my subject had to be strong of character... easily recognizable... the enemy of my enemies... willing to do whatever to right wrongs... but what?... or who?... would fit all that criteria? Hhmmmmmmm...

Then it hit me - I realized that if I did not succeed, I ran the risk of failure.*

So, I quickly chiseled out a big life-sized likeness of Dan Quayle before bedtime...

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I knew I'd be able to polish him up and finish him out the very next day... so I went to bed. I slept soundly knowing it would be a masterpiece!


But to my utter shock - when I woke up - he had been shattered!!!! Who would have done such a thing?

I gathered up and pieced together as much as I could - and decided to just go with a bust because the bottom half was really destroyed... but the bust itself - after I glued it together - didn't really look all that bad...

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Thank goodness for JJ. He had, like, cases and cases of Elmer's glue in his room.

But the cracks in it really bothered me, so I figured out a plan for a paint scheme... I knew that I didn't want to go back to tomorrow - I wanted to go forward.*

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...and went and got a good start on painting him just before bedtime...

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...satisfied that it was all going to turn out alright, I went on to bed. I slept soundly knowing it would still be good. I was under the false sense of being ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.*


The next morning, I woke up to find - someone had botched up my paint job!

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Of all the low-down, dirty, rotten....


Who could be doing this?

I quickly dug out my chisel and began working to remove the layers of paint...

I wanted to get it back to the original, flawless color of the stone, and I couldn't believe how difficult it was to chisel paint off of a bust!

I worked until late in the evening and went on to bed... I slept ok, kinda fearful about what may happen overnight...

I knew that the future would be better tomorrow.*

Then, I had a frightful dream in which my bust lost it's head after being shot by another bust with an apparent careless aim... or maybe it was actually careful aim. I could not tell which.

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The end of the dream jolted me awake in a cold sweat, unlike Pvt Hudson's warm sweats...

I rushed into my work area to find... That the head of my bust was not gone... BUT had been severely altered!!!!

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OMG! I simply could not believe it! It's like I've been targeted by a saboteur! But who?

Or was I losing my mind? What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.*

Realizing there wasn't much time left... I quickly began to straighten it out... but in my haste, I couldn't get it back right again...

I kept working it...

and working it...

and working it...

and working it...

and working it...

and working it...

...but everytime I thought I was getting closer, I'd step back to soak in what I had done, and realize I was further off than before...

Hm... what if I were to spruce it up a little with some face decor?

like a moustache... and maybe some eyebrows... and a little black plastic bowler...

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Argh! How frustrating! That would not do!... and the pieces were about to be judged! And this piece was a real mistake!

Now I know we're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made.*

This is when I entered panic mode. I quickly shattered the piece, having drawn the conclusion the the stone obviously had bad karma.

Then I quickly molded up and painted a little clay sculpture, I'll simply name : T-n-A.

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There now! The Chancellor should be very impressed! I have made good judgements in the Past. I have made good judgements in the Future.* Perhaps the Chancellor will make good judgements someday later.

Starbucker Out

*- denotes some actual and some paraphrased Dan Quayle quotes.


Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

I think you should have stuck with the Mr. Potatoe-Head look :)

And who knew Dan Q had such nice curves.

3:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol... so I wonder who is helping you out there

3:40 PM  
Blogger JawaJuice said...

So....did you ever find out who was sabotaging your works of art?

My money is on those damn monkeys Obi Wan left in my room. They've been acting kinda funny lately.

5:41 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Is Runt still around? That thing and the monkeys could be in cahoots.

(Great post, btw)

6:28 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

It was Padme, in the art room, with a hammer and a bucket of paint. Or Proffessor Plum in the library with the rope

7:12 PM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

Uh, that last one is very... blue.

7:47 PM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

I knew that I didn't want to go back to tomorrow - I wanted to go forward

That's deep. It took awhile to sink in, but it was deep.

8:28 PM  

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