Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Oneida:Great Treasures Within

Ithorians wandered through the large backyard of the house, setting up their display areas. The antiques were set up in a visually pleasing way, tempting any antiques aficionado to come out and inspect them closer. The Ithorians sat back and waited for us to leave the house to peruse their wares. And they waited, and waited, and waited some more. For some reason none of us seemed ready to rush out of the house to look at the goods. I’ve had some experience with antiques, I worked in a place filled with them. It’s very important to know what’s for show and what can actually be used for its original purpose. What can be touched and what qualifies as 'no touchy'.

We eventually moved out of the house and into the backyard. All of the Ithorians watched as we made our ways through the rows of stuff. I didn’t know what I was looking for, I figured something would jump out at me. I saw chairs, seats, settees, fainting couches, couches, sofas, loveseats, and a bench. Then I saw an intricately carved wardrobe, but passed by that. I crawled under tables to see the maker’s marks, I looked at the feet and hardware on a variety of things. Nada. But this was a challenge, so I kept onward in my pursuit of antiques.

I realized that I didn’t have to confine myself to furniture. I looked through boxes of toys and clothing. Moving through the different vendors' places, I moved in a grid pattern so as not to miss anything. I ended up at a strange little tent towards the back of the group. An old Ithorian woman smiled at me as I walked into the shop area. The ceiling of it hung low and was decorated with a variety of stars and swirling patterns. Beads and scarves hung from the walls. Her style was more gypsy than antiques. She had jewelry, crystal balls, a palantir, which was a bit muddy, apparently its former user had lobbed it off the top of a tower into some mud. In the back I found a cluttered box. “What’s in here?” I inquired. She made a face at me, “Bah, nothing much, just some old trinkets, a paper weight or two, dead lizard. Nothing that will win you the competition, my dear,” she replied.

I started to put the box down, but stopped. Something called out to me, it tugged at my senses, urging me to look through the dead lizard box. I plunked down the ground and started looking through the collection of stuff. Most of it was junk, and there was indeed a petrified dead lizard in one corner. This lady knows her stuff well. As I reached in to pull out another old nokia comlink, my hand connected with something sharp and pointy. I pulled my hand back, nursing the small wound on my palm, but then I slowly reached out for that which caused the puncture. It was a small metal pyramid with line patterns covering the sides. I ran my hand around the base and focused on it. I knew what this was, it was a holocron, a Sith holocron if my Naval Academy education was worth anything. I held it up to the lady, “How much for the paperweight?” I asked, using my handmaiden skills of looking calm. She wrinkled her nose at it, “Hon, that style went out in the ‘80’s. But if you must have it, 5 credits.” I gave her a skeptical look, “For 5 I want the paperweight, this cute little tea cozy and the dead lizard.” She gave me a strange look, “Deal.” I left the tent and headed back to the house, holocron in hand.

While the others shopped around, I sat in the middle of my bedroom and focused on getting the holocron to work. I focused and focused and focused, but to no avail. Then my mind wandered off on some day dream. The holocron activated. Before me stood the image of an intimidating figure cloaked in black. “I am Darth Bane, Sith Master. This holocron contains my wisdom, and the knowledge to lead the Sith to complete domination of the galaxies. Use this to ….” Static interrupted his words, and his image faded out. It was replaced by a tall man in spacer clothing standing next to a small Jedi. “Check it, this is Ping Zorda, and I’m going to spare you some messed up [beep] from Darth Spanky Mc[beep]weasel there.” I think Mr. Zorda was a bit sauced, but I couldn’t tell absolutely. There was some giggling in the background. Mr. Zorda was trying to keep a straight face. “You fools will now have the privilege and honor,” more giggling, “alright, knock it off, fartknocker!!! Be glad I am now at peace with my bad self or there would be hella repercussions for all that laughing.” He resumed his look outwards towards an unseen audience. “Now, without any more interruptions, I will sing the Happy Birthday Song in every known language, in alphabetical order with the great Master Barrett.” And off they went into song. Fortunately the holocron turned off easily.

I pondered my choice for a bit. Well, it is an antique. And Dooku probably won’t risk opening it during judging. I think it might have a chance. And if not, I have a lovely tea cozy.

12 Comments:

Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Ah Antiquing. I too have spent many a day looking under the table for a bottle Maker's Mark.

11:31 PM  
Blogger Private Hudson said...

"It’s very important to know what’s for show and what can actually be used for its original purpose. What can be touched and what qualifies as 'no touchy'."

That sounds familiar. Didn't you say that on our first date?

3:40 AM  
Blogger Chancellor Palpatine said...

WOW, a vintage 2500 bby holocron, with the original finish. Do you have the original packaging?

I'll give you 50 credits for it after the challenge is over! I need it to complete my collection.

5:33 AM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

You might want to take care of that cut. You never know where a holocron has been.

8:30 AM  
Blogger Vampirella said...

a holocron huh? I think I had a couple in another life

9:01 AM  
Blogger flu said...

"I think it might have a chance. And if not, I have a lovely tea cozy."

...not to mention you pocketed a smooth 195 credits! Good joB!!

9:06 AM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

*looks at hand* Yeah, good idea, it's starting to look a bit infected.

And Hudson, we only went out once, and it certainly wasn't a date. If a girl is wearing full body armor AND she threatens you with a gun, a date it is not.

And of course, Chancellor, all yours when this is done

10:26 AM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

Wait. You went out with Hudson??

12:08 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

No!!! I ran into him during combat, and had to travel from a secure point to another with him and several other troopers. He assumed that it was a date. He thinks spending 5 minutes in the same room as a woman is a date.

So, no, I have not gone out with Hudson

2:23 PM  
Blogger flu said...

Shame that weight is pointed like that... makes it unstackable.

2:28 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

But you could waste many hours trying to balance things on the tip of it instead of doing paper work

3:06 PM  
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7:35 PM  

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