Monday, March 27, 2006

Jon: Time for me to fly

I guess that's it. I competed as best as I could and I am very surprised that I got this far. Doubly so because I never received immunity for any of the challenges.

Thinking about it, I could probably have steered the votes my way. I am, after all, from Chicago, the place where cats and dogs vote and the dead get to vote twice. I am sure that I could have rigged the voting. It would have been easier than a magnet in a roulette wheel, but as that goes against my sense of fair play, it's off I go.

"I made it this far," I said whistfully while packing my bag. "So close..."

"Not bad for 'just an Earthman,'" Typho chuckled and offered me his hand. I shook his hand heartily and gave him one of those semi-macho half-hugs on the shoulder. "It was cool to see you here."

"Yeah, well, it was good seeing you again, too," I answered. "But I do miss my wife and kid. Have you seen Fluke?"

"No, not in the past hour or so," Typho answered. "He's around here, somewhere."

I looked around, up and down the halls, in the living room and kitchen, I walked through the dining room and poked my head into the other bedrooms. I didn't see him anywhere until I got to JJ's room. He was sitting on the simulated sand looking out at a simulated sunset.

"Whatcha doin' Flukester?" I asked.

"Aw, nuthin," he shrugged. I saw that he had a half-full bottle dangling from his hand.

"Is that a beer?"

"Nah," he replied absently. "It's a grape Nee'Hi. I sometimes drink these when I'm a little blue."

"Got another?"

"Nope," he shrugged.

"You know Fluke, it was great to visit here and I had a lot of fun seeing you again and all, but it really is time that I get going."


"This place isn't for me," I continued, pointing vaguely out at the ersatz sunset. "I really must be traveling on, now, 'Cause there's too many places I've got to see."

"Hmm," Fluke shrugged again.

"But, if I stayed here with you, Fluke, things just couldn't be the same. 'Cause I'm as free as a bird now, and this bird you can not change."

"Yeah, you're right," Fluke conceeded.

"Lord knows, I can't change," I grinned.

"Aw gimme a hug, ya old goobersmoocher," Fluke laughed and wrapped his arms around me.

I got up and walked out of the room. The hardest part was now upon me.

"Sniffy," I called. "Come here, girl."

Sniffy walked up to me slowly, her head hung really low.

"I'm sorry, girl," I gave Sniffy a big hug. "I just can't bring you back home. It would take, like, 8 years to get you through intergalactic customs."

The dog sniffed my ear sadly.

"Yeah, I know, I have to go, but I love you a lot, doggy. I'll stay here on Naboo until I can find a good home for you."

At that point, the doorbell rang. I reached to the knob, pulled it open, and saw two little dirty-faced tinkers.

"Please kind sir," said one. "Could you 'elp us out?"

"I am afraid that I don't have any shillings," I answered.

"No that's not it," said the other. "We've been watching you on the holovision."

"Ah," I chuckled. "And you want my autograph before I go, right?"

"No, sir," the first one replied. "Perhaps we could tell you our story."


"I'm Shroomer Twirl and this is my friend Savvy Swerver. We're orphans, sir."

"Orphans?" I replied, a bit surprised.

"Yes sir," said Savvy. "And Fine Ss'aik'ss, the headmaster of the Naboo Orphanage, would 'ave our 'eads if we don't get your dog."

"That doesn't seem reasonable at all," I answer. "He doesn't make you labor in a workhouse does he?"

"No no, he is a fine guardian," replied Shroomer. "'E sent us 'ere to get 'er as a pet, sir."

"What d'ya think, Sniffy?" I asked her. "You want to go with these boys?"

Sniffy woofed and leapt out the door at them. The two kids giggled an started chasing her around. That's really nice, I get to leave Sniffy here and they'll take good care of each other down at the orphanage.

Orphanage? Wait a minute.

"Say, boys," I called out. "You're not, er, planning on eating Sniffy or anything, are you?"

"Oh no sir," answered Savvy. "We're just gonna use 'er to fleece easy marks out of their 'ard-earned duckets, is all."


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anyone seen Runt around fer awhile, He hasnt called or written in at least a month.

Im beginnin ta worry

Them boys didnt smell like barbecue did they ?

5:33 AM  
Blogger flu said...


Heck of a run, Jon, and a close finish.

I'll miss ya.

Say, would y... I mean... could yo... er... Can I hold that Hammerhead comic book for a lil bit before you take off?

... or maybe even 'til I see you next time?

6:30 AM  
Blogger Jaina Solo said...

Have fun in what ever you are off to do Jon.

7:04 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Fluke, consider the Hammerhead comic yours.

7:14 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Oh and Jaba, I haven't seen Runt in a while, either. Maybe he ran off after Sniffy snared him in that trap.

Thanks as well, Jaina. I'm sure that something interesting for me is just a matter of days away...

7:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

bye Jon at least people wont be houndeding you on who won will they

or will they :P

7:31 AM  
Blogger JawaJuice said...

It's like an after school special.

You did a great job, Jon. We're all proud of ya back here at the penthouse. You done good.
Now get out there and do some more good. The galaxy needs ya.

10:30 AM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Have fun Jon, and remember, stay away from intergalatic queens with too much eye makeup, they're nothing but trouble.

10:49 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Tell me about it! They're always like "Jon, Jon, your galaxy needs you!" and "Gladiator, please save the galaxy!" It never ends.

12:49 PM  
Blogger Queen Galacta said...


12:50 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Ulp! Gotta go!

12:50 PM  
Blogger Vegeta said...


3:49 PM  
Blogger Vegeta said...

Oh and farewell Jon

3:50 PM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

Take care, Jon. Come back to our neck of the galaxy soon!

7:48 AM  
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4:03 PM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...


12:07 PM  

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