Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Jon: Shrubs R Us

The challenge was to put together a nice shrubbery, and in an hour. I wasn't sure what to do. Sitting and relaxing isn't normally my style, but maybe if I take a moment to think about it, I might be able to come up with something. This couch is comfortable, I can just sit... for... a.... Zzzzzz....

(cue wavy lines)

“Hey buddy boy-o-rino,” came a voice. “Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake uuuuuuuup!”

“Huh? What?”

“I said ‘hey buddy boy-o-rino,’” said the voice. “‘Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake uuuuuuuup!’”

“Oh my—” I rubbed my eyes, looked at what was in front of me, then rubbed my eyes again. “Jo Jo… Is that you?”

“In the flesh,” the ghost of Jo Jo the Monkeyboy materialized in front of me. “Or, at least the ghostly equivalent of flesh, ha ha! Howya doin’ be-wauuuuuuuuuu-thhhhhh?”

I’ve seen those movies where ghosts terrify people. They hurl objects, they cause walls to bleed, they haunt TV’s, possess victims, and all other sorts of scary things. Seeing Jo Jo was more horrifying by far.

“What… are you doing here?”

“Oh that’s easy,” answered the (alleged) comedy relief specter. “Qui-Gon’s judging this challenge, and who knows Quiggy more than I-iggy?”

“Uh, his best chum JJ? His former padawan Obi Wan? His former master Yoda?”

“Gone, gone, gone, daddy, gone,” Jo Jo's ghostly mouth cranked up into a ghastly grin. “That leaves me, chummmmmm.”

“OK,” I answered. “So what’s the plan?”

“Oh, that’s easy, Chester. What do you think my main mucho mystic mango likes most of all?”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “A bonsai tree?”


“A tree that grows brownies?”

“Nuh uh.”

“Something with five-sided leaves that grows under black lights?”

“No, no, no,” Jo Jo shook his head spastically. “See, you need my help-ully-elp, and I’m gonna give it to you but good, daddy-O.”

“So what is it, then?” I asked exasperatedly.



“Come on.”

“Argh, I said no,” I howled. “I already guessed. Just tell me.”

“Don’t be such a sourpuss, stick-in-the-mud, fussbudget, fusspot, old farrrr-fig-nougat,” he chortled maniacally. “I said that I was here to help, Chuckles.”

I rubbed my face and sighed heavily.

“OK,” I said. “Just lemme have it. Give it to me.”

“Oh this is no fun,” the spook pouted. “Come on, Chumbawumba, make it fun.”

“Alright, alright,” I rolled my eyes. “What is it, buddy boy joy goy troy, uh, rocco taco Morocco?”

“There you go,” he hopped up and down. “Was that so tough?”

“Jo Jo.”

“OK, OK, OK. Qui-Gonny loves bananaphones! Make him a bananaphone tree!”

(Cue wavy lines)

Wow, what an unusual dream.

Or was it?


Blogger Jaina Solo said...

That monkey is one annoying ghost. Yes the banana phone tree was a good idea......

9:34 AM  
Blogger JawaJuice said...

Nice of Jo Jo to give you a hand...of bananas!!! Get it? Get it?

...okay...i'm leaving now.

10:31 AM  
Blogger Jo Jo The Monkeyboy's Ghost said...

Hee hee hee hooo hoo hoo ha ha hah hah!

I don't get it.

12:55 PM  
Blogger Vegeta said...

Aaaaaaaaaaaa! That was the most horrible thing I've ever seen!

11:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

man im glad these dreams dont come in bunches.

3:39 AM  
Blogger flu said...

`Oh, WOW Jon! Neato! That shrub is quite the... uh... erm, tree.

3:02 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Ringg Ringg! 'hello, hello hello. Sorry I can't hear you I have a bannana stuck in my ear"

3:15 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home