Sunday, March 12, 2006

J.J.: Adios Amigos!

J.J. packs the last of his robes in a suitcase, and then carefully places the picture that Noel took of all the Big Brother contestants on top before closing it up. He closes his eyes and takes a big breath, savoring the holo-smell of sea salt and ocean breezes. He opens his little glowing eyes and scans the horizon: the waving palm trees, the bright sand, the crystal blue ocean, even the makeshift tiki-bar. He nods his head and smiles.

J.J.’s I-SUC droid wheels his way up to him, carrying one lone wooden crate.

I-SUC: Is that everything, sir?

For a brief moment, J.J. is lost in his thoughts, going over the last two months of his stay in this house. The lemon tree challenge…the drinking…the poetry…the drinking…the pirate attack…the drinking…

J.J.: Hmmm? Oh, yeah. We’re ready. I was just thinking of all the good times I had here.

J.J. then pulls out a cigar and lights it up.

J.J.: Ya know, SUC-man, I really enjoyed myself. I didn’t think I would when I signed on but I did. I enjoyed hanging out with everyone. Even Jaba…even though he used to beat me up after school for my lunch money way back on Tatooine.

I-SUC: But you didn’t win, sir. You didn’t even make it to the final four?

J.J.: oh, that’s all right. I came one short. And being a jawa, we always come up one short. …get it?

I-SUC: Unfortunately yes. Can I just stay here and hope the pirates return to destroy my circuits?

J.J.: Aww, come on I-SUC, We’re going home now. I’m taking you to a grand high rise apartment in Coruscant. You’ll love it there. You’ll love my roomie too. He’s a force ghost Jedi Knight. Knowing him, he’s been having the time of his life while I’ve been away.

I-SUC: So…he’s dead?

J.J.: In a way.

I-SUC: Do you think he can give me pointers?

J.J. sighs and shakes his head ever so slightly. He grabs his suitcase and opens the door to his holo-room.

J.J.: We’ll see. Come on, SUCy, I need you to deliver that crate in front of their room before they wake up.

I-SUC: Aren’t you going to say goodbye to them, sir?

J.J.: Naw. I ain’t good with goodbyes. That’s why I'm giving them this crate and note and stepping out before they all wake up.

I-SUC: What’s in the crate?

J.J.: It’s the last of the booze in my room. I figure the four of them could use it better then me. The note simply says “Congratulations, Jon, Typho, Oneida and Fluke for reaching the final four. I'm very glad it came down to you guys. You four are awesome in every respect. You’re all winners in my book. Here’s the last of my alcohol. I’m sure you guys will know how to polish it off. Have a drink on me. If any of you ever find yourselves in Coruscant after this game, you know you always have a place to stay with me and Qui.
Have fun. That’s what it’s all about. -J.J.”

The jawa then turns to his I-SUC droid carefully setting the crate next to the other contestant’s bedroom.

J.J.: Come on. We got to go now.

I-SUC: Are you sure you got everything?

J.J. pauses a moment and thinks. He finally shrugs his shoulders and walks out the Big Brother House with I-SUC right beside him.










J.J.: I think so. Anyway, If I did forget anything, I’m sure the others can take care of it. Come on, SUC-man, Our adventures have just begun.










Epilogue:

Deep inside the tropical holo-room, the sound of an occasional ocean wave lapping on shore is the only noise to break the calming silence. The artificial heat radiating sun blazes low on the horizon casting cooling shadows underneath the palm trees.

A few monkeys suddenly scurry down the trees. The monkeys left over when Obi-Wan still resided in this very room. After a few moments, even more monkeys hop their way across the hot sand or down other palm trees to gather in a cool spot in the center of the holo-room.

One of the monkeys steps into the center of the crowd, lighting a cigarette and surveying his brethren. He nods with satisfaction at what he sees.








“Good. Very good. We are finally alone now. I thought that damn jawa would never leave. Now it is time to put our plans into action. Guido! Are your troops ready?

Guido cocks his gun. “Yes sir. All my men are armed and ready!”









“Good….good. Have everyone assembled at the door and prepared to move on my command. When the time is right…we strike! Not just this house…not just this planet…but the whole system will fall to our demands!!! Very soon…the universe will be ours!!!”











The gun totting simians raise their arms in undulating cries.

“VIVA LA REVOLUTION!!! VIVA LA REVOLUTION!!! VIVA LA REVOLUTION!!!!”

(the end…?)

14 Comments:

Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

*walks by the door and hears the chanting, looks in. Then steps back into hallway, closes door, calls animal control*

Hello, and thank you for calling Naboo National Animal Control Services.

If you require assistance with small mammals, please press 1

If you require assistance with something that just crawled out of the swamp, please press 2

If require assistance with militant primates, please press 3

For all other inquiries, please stay on the line


*presses 3, gives address and hangs up.*

3:27 PM  
Blogger Vampirella said...

wipes a tear bye JJ

4:45 PM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

Bye, JJ!

raising a beer in his honor...

6:25 PM  
Blogger Vegeta said...

Farewell JJ (raises beer glass also. And downs it .) those monkeys maybe relatives of mine , what with the wanting to conquer the universe and all.

9:28 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Smoking monkeies with guns...man that takes me back to my days with the...No, wait that doesn't take me back anywhere, that's just freaky.

9:58 PM  
Blogger Jaina Solo said...

*waves* Bye J.J.

8:23 AM  
Blogger flu said...

*sniff*

Thanks JJ. I'm touched.

I'll miss ya.
















Wow, this Jack Daniel's sure is watery.

8:49 AM  
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6:07 AM  
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10:41 AM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

sic the monkies on Askinstoo. Let them fling all the monkey poo they have unpon that wretch!

12:10 PM  
Blogger JawaJuice said...

SPLOG!!!!

3:20 PM  
Blogger flu said...

well, poo

8:04 PM  
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8:10 AM  
Blogger Askinstoo said...

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7:52 PM  

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