Saturday, March 11, 2006

Dooku: My, my, what have we here...?

Let's see what you've got, chaps...

(1) Lt. Commander Oneida

Dooku: So, what have we here, dearie?
*Onedia presents the Sith holocron*
Dooku: dear, do you know what you have here?
Onedia: ...well...
Dooku: This...this is a holocron!
Onedia: ...yes...
Dooku: Marvellous! I haven't seen one of these in years...let's take a look, shall we...?
Onedia: ...uh...
*Dooku concentrates, and a robed figure appears above the examination bench*
Holocron: I am Darth Bane, Sith Master.
Dooku: Darth Bane! A truly spiffing Sith Lord, if there ever was one.
Holocron: Use this to....*static*
*Oneida cringes*
Holocron: Check it, this is Ping Zorda, and I’m going to spare you some messed up [beep] from Darth Spanky Mc[beep]weasel there.
Dooku: ...
Oneida: Uh...
Dooku: ...
Oneida: ...look, I can explain -
*Dooku pockets the holocron, and stands*
Dooku: I've always wanted to be able to sing in Togarian.
*he moves to the next bench*
Oneida: ...well...that was odd.

(2) Jawajuice

*Dooku arrives at J.Js bench and sits down, picking up the shining gold jewellery*
Dooku: So...what have we here, old boy?
J.J: They' Yeah. Definately gold. Not an obscure human body part. Nope.
Dooku: I see.
*he raises the necklace to his monocle, examining it under the light*
Dooku:, my.
J.J: What?
Dooku: My dear chap...this is pure 8 carot human gallstone!
J.J: ...oh, is it?
Dooky: It is! Don't you know what this means?
Dooku: Gallstones are considered to have magical properties amongst many of the Geonosian tribes...absolute tripe, of course, but worth a sizeable amount none the less...
*he pockets the jewellery, then stands and leaves*
J.J: ....phew.

(3) Jon

*Dooku sits, then picks up the 'space combat simulator'*
Jon: Do ya like it? Do ya?
Dooku: My word...I haven't seen one of these in years...
*He picks up a few battleship markers, and places them on the board*
Dooku: B7. Miss!
*He laughs*
Jon: .....riiiighht.
Dooku: Now, what's this...?
*He picks up the tea set*
Jon: Well, it's a tea set from -
Dooku: Tea! How delightful! How about we share some tea right now, with this fine set of antiquitated goods...
*he bustles off to fetch his ever-ready supply of tea ingrediants, before being intercepted by Jar Jar and herded to the next table*
Jon: But you didn't even look at my...

(4) Captain Typho

*Dooku sits down, and turns to Typho*
Dooku: So, what do you have for me, old boy?
*Typho sets the 3 McDookus Happy Meal toys on the tabletop*
Dooku: ...I say! An absolutley spiffing display, eh what?
Typho: ...yeah.
*Dooku gazes at the figurines for some minutes, before standing and moving to the next table*
Typho: Hmm.

(5) Fluke Starbucker

*Dooku sits, only to be confronted with many a pile old buttons, keys, spoons, and an accordian.
Dooku: ...well, it's certainly old.
Fluke: Yeah, they're antiques, right! Y'know, old stuff.
Dooku: *picks up the accordian* What is this delightful object?
Fluke: It's...ummmm...a toaster.
Dooku: I see.
*he stands, pocketing the spoons*
Fluke (under his breath): Goobersmoocher.

I make my way to the lecturn where Jar Jar stands, microphone in hand, awaiting my announcement. I stop, and look around the compeditors for a minute.

Oneida, with that delightful holocron.
Jawajuice, tribal pendant and all.
Jon, tea set laid out.
Typho, toys at the ready.
Fluke, with...who knows what?

I smile, and make my decision.

And the winner is....

Captain Typho!

Now, chaps, you must vote for the next one to leave. A tough decision, to be sure....

Who should go, chaps?
Free polls from


Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

It's going to be a photofinish, or maybe an oil painting.

7:30 AM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Yay! Congrats Captain :)

7:51 AM  
Blogger Jaina Solo said...

Awwww shoot! It's so hard to decide!

10:52 AM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

this is secret voting, right. I'm not going to have to worry about Extra KP or gladiator attacks or jawa's kick to the crotch or a spores up my nose am I

11:16 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I think you're danged if you do, danged if you don't, AOC.

12:13 PM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

Wow! And I get to keep the Kaadara Corsairs team jacket too!

2:23 PM  
Blogger Barriss Offee said...

I'd like to vote at this time but it would be like voting off a friend. (and I don't have the heart to do that!)

3:46 PM  
Blogger HOLG said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:51 PM  
Blogger HOLG said...

Can someone please come and get this bantha out of here.

Or at least stop yelling pickles over the fence.

10:52 PM  
Blogger HOLG said...

Ohhhhh Noooooo!!!!!

10:52 PM  

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