Thursday, February 23, 2006

Yoda: What the...?

Up on one of the pirate ships I jumped. Through several bloodthirsty, scary, scary pirates I fought. Finally I yelled, "Your captain I demand to see!"

"I'm the captain!" a voice called.

Around I turned and a very intimidating figure I saw. The scariest, rougest-looking member of the crew this captain was. Scare anyone he could. I picture I can show you below.

But for the faint of heart it is not.

Out of the room send the younglings.

Sure you want to see this are you? Scared you will be.


See how scary-looking this crew is, do you?

My courage I mustered up. "Call off this attack you will, or through you I will run my lightsaber."

"Not so fast!" a woman's voice called.

"Dormé? You that is? Doing on a pirate ship what are you?"

"First of all, I'm
Sabé, not Dormé. God, I am so tired of people confusing me with her! Anyway, I'm on this ship to be with my one true love..."

"... Captain Kermit."

"Ok, weird that is. But attacking us why are you?"

"She knows," Dormé Sabé said as behind me she pointed.

Around I turned, and there Senator Amidala was. Just climbed aboard she had.

"Yes, I know why. It was years ago, but I still remember," the senator said, "I remember the hot, steamy, love affair Captain Kermit and I had, those passionate evenings on that beach on Endor..."

"Ok," I said, "grossing me out you people are."

Senator Amidala continued, "And I remember how jealous, you were,


"Whatever! You couldn't stand it that Captain Kermit loved me, and not you."

"Yes!" Dor-, uh, Sabé yelled, "Yes! Alright? I was jealous! But who wouldn't be jealous watching another woman throw herself all over this stud-muffin! But things are different now! He loves me, not you! He never loved you! You were just a meaningless fling!"

"Wait," I said, "Talking about this Captain Kermit, are you?"

"Well," Captain Kermit said, "I am known as a bit of a ladies' frog."

Just then, aboard Lt. Cmdr. Oneida climbed. "Oh my God! Captain Kermit! I would never have dreamt I would see you again, my love!"

Completely freaked out at this point, I was.

"This is my man, uh, frog!"
Sabé said, "You hussies stay away from him!"

"Get over yourself,
Dormé," Oneida said, "he could never love a trollup like you!"

"For the love of God, I'm Sab

"You're still a trollup."

Exchanging insults, all three girls started.



Then fighting they all started. Pulling hair, biting, and scratching, they were. Getting really ugly it was. But uglier it soon got when the fight some pig with blonde hair joined.

"Keep your mitts off of my frog, bimbos!" the pig yelled. Then some amazing Karate moves she started to perform. A terrible beating, she gave
Sabé, Amidala, and Oneida. Hard to watch it was.

Possibly the weirdest experience of my entire life this was. Saying alot that is. With Windu I live.

"Hey Waldorf, would you kiss a frog?"

"It couldn't be any worse than having to read this post!"

"Ah, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"


Blogger Son Goku said...


12:04 AM  
Blogger Vampirella said...

oh kermit ;)

2:14 AM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Ohmigod. The cameras actually caught all that?! Oneida, we need a plan to like, get to the cameraman and, ya know, destroy the damaging footage.

4:01 AM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Already on it, Padme, it's being taken care of as we speak.

And that was a weird, experimental part of my youth that I had hoped to be forgiven for, seesh. Now I'm going to have to explain this to Typho.

And funny post, Master Yoda :)

4:35 AM  
Blogger Jabafatboy said...

So the girls were feelin a bit froggy were they !!

Well wait till miss piggy finds out about this. HIIIIYAA

By the way, why is it all the froggy lookin guys always get the hot chicks ?

5:30 AM  
Blogger Queen Galacta said...

Kermit? Is that you? Were have you been, love?

5:49 AM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Dang, It may not be easy being green, but being green seem to get the easy women. ;)

7:59 AM  
Blogger flu said...

No wonder Sabe never calls me anymore


8:00 AM  
Blogger JawaJuice said...

It must be a green felt thing.
Or a short thing.
I tell you, chicks dig short people.
-Jawa's, ewoks, muppets...It doesn't matter.
Women can be clamoring all over you too, Yoda.
...that is...if you weren' know... old as rocks.

8:09 AM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

A weird, experimental past that involves frogs. Well, I learn something new every day.

7:46 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

psst Typho... i think it the...uhh... you know... uhhh...flycatcher thingy (turns beet red and heads out of the room)

11:45 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

AOC you are in SO much trouble. I am NOT easy!!!! And that last comment might just get you more time serving papers. hmph!

10:42 AM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

Great, AOC. How am I supposed to get that visual out of my mind?

6:55 PM  

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