Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Typho: Fine Feathered Friends

I was adding the fabric softener to the washing machine when Padmé marched into the laundry room.

“Typho, I’m not happy with what you did with my area of the room,” she announced. “I wanted the walls to be Pear Green, the window sills to be Peach and the part of the wall over that wooden thing--”

“The molding?”

“Yeah, like, I want that part Cream Yellow.”

“But that’s not what you said before. You said you wanted the walls Peach and--”

“You must’ve heard me incorrectly,” Padmé said, flashing her eyes in warning. “I also need the floor sanded where you, like, dripped some of the paint.”

“Whoa,” I said slowly. “When am I supposed to do all this and also do this week's challenge?”

“Oh, it won’t take you long to finish the room. You’ve got, like, days to do Jar Jar’s thing.” She looked at me expectantly.

What was I supposed to do? Say no?

“Okay, but you’ve got to hold up your end of the bargain like we discussed, right?” I said, referring to the private conversation we had had previously about her Jose Cuervo habit.

“That’s so not a problem. You can check my room. No bottles!” she said brightly.

Maybe too brightly.


“Deal?” she said.



A little while later in the girls’ room...

There is a reason why “watching paint dry” is a synonym for boredom.

I tried talking to Noel’s bird while I was sanding and later vacuuming the dust off of the curtains, but all it would do was squawk in a suspicious kind of way. I guess it’s not that kind of bird.

There were two upsides to renovating the room. The first was that with all the sanding and painting going on, the cameras in the room were rendered temporarily useless. It's nice to relax and know you're not being spied on.

The other upside was that the window in Padmé’s corner overlooks the area where Jardena hangs out by the pool.

Mmm! Beautiful. I like having her around again.

I leaned forward to get a closer look at her...


Puzzled at the sound, I reluctantly turned my gaze away from Jardena and back to the room.

There were feathers floating in the air and the cage where the bird should’ve been was empty.

Oh, Sith.

I heard a muffled squawk from inside the vacuum cleaner and I quickly shut it off. Was it too late?

Just then there was a knock at the door. “Typho, like, is everything okay in there?” came Padmé’s voice.

“Uh, yeah, yeah. But you can’t come in here. There’re a lot of fumes and I, uh, have to clean the place up a bit,” I answered. “Lots of dust. Bad for your skin.”

“Well don’t take all day.”


Her footsteps retreated down the hall and I hurriedly opened up the vacuum.

The bird was still alive!

It pecked me viciously (@#$%!) as I carefully cleaned it off and put it back in its cage.

I thought it looked okay, but one really long tail feather was missing. It wasn’t noticeable on the bird, but the feather was a bit too long to conveniently dump in the garbage.

Desperate to hide it, I climbed up on the ladder, tucked the feather into a space in the molding and painted over it.

One hidden item and one room redecorated.


With that done, I headed back to the laundry room. Hopefully no one had dumped my wet clothes on the floor.

Who keeps doing that?


Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I think Grievous keeps dumping out our wet clothes. He keeps washing his cloak for some reason.

3:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

poor bird

5:51 AM  
Blogger JawaJuice said...

So...you killed two birds with one stone...so to speak.

7:19 AM  
Blogger Shannon said...

The re-dec looks sweet, Captain. Um, do you think the fumes, like, hurt Noel's bird? It looks kinda like, dazed or drunk or something...

7:21 AM  
Blogger Private Hudson said...

So, Captain, you're an enabler, eh? What a sad relationdhip.

Oh, and could you tell Ranae I said hi?

7:59 AM  
Blogger flu said...

Hey, I'm not dumping out anyone's wet clo... wait, hold on...

We have a clothes washer?

9:22 AM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Yes, Fluke, and a clothes dryer, and detergent. We'd all probably be happy to show you where it is :)

The room looks really nice.

10:08 AM  
Blogger flu said...

This changes everything!

2:28 PM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

Pvt. Hudson, I'm scared to ask but what's an enabler?

5:26 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

So you do laundry now? Good to know

6:24 PM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

Want me to do yours? I'll be very gentle with your lingerie.

7:14 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

*hands him her dirty clothes*

Thanks :D

7:20 PM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

You owe me one. I'll collect when it's convenient. ;)

7:52 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Hey, you offered.

And is that convenient for you or convenient for me?

Just checking

8:31 PM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

For me, of course.

9:28 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Of course, silly of me to ask ;P

10:06 PM  
Blogger Noel of Neptonian said...


No wonder she freaks out whenever she sees you.

Poor Bell....

I'll have to give her some extra treat and some more play time.

Just don't come into the room when I have her out. Otherwise you may be needing a seeing eye dog.

12:33 AM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Nah, we're both pretty good shots, we'd resolve the threat before it got too close to his face :)

And Dante, you might not want to come in anyways, Padme might put you to work again. She has a list of things she'd like done

4:25 PM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

Thanks for the head's up re: Padmé’s plans.

Seeing as how a vicious attack bird wants to maim me and my boss wants to put me to work, I'll have to steer clear of your room, Dena.

You can, of course, hang out with me in the swinging bachelor pad. Or the workout room. Or the pool. Or the hot tub. Or...

7:24 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Good to know, I'll keep all that in mind ;)

9:50 PM  
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8:28 AM  

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