Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Starbucker: Love and Determination

FLUKE: (whispering)"psst...Hey, Jon... I just got some inspiration to rhyme! Just a little while ago - when Padme was jumping around... and hollering 'yo!yo!yo!'? Well, her skirt kinda blew up for a sec and... here goes -

I saw her heiney,
all white and shiney.

I just made that up, like right now... isn't that cool? I'm a poet and didn't even realize it. "

Fluke then steps up onto the stage, and produces a few papers from his tunic...

FLUKE: "Uh... I wrote two of these poems some time ago, I hope that's ok... I didn't have a whole lot of immediate inspiration ... except just earlier when Padme's dress flew up... But I did write one this week about Gungan determination, and I'd like to conclude with it."

The judges look at one another and shrug... but say nothing...

FLUKE: "Uh... ok...

...Well then, without further ado, here's a poem explaining how I became a farmer... You see, I farm to preserve memories of my first true love - a love so perfect... *sigh*


I planted a rose for the way my spirits rose up when we met,
A forget-me-not to remind me to remember to not forget,

A pine tree for the way I always pined over you,
And an ash for the day that I ashed you to be true.

Your mother and your cousin, Chris, they often used to come,
So in their honor I had raised a nice Chris-and-the-mum.

I planted a beetroot for the day you said that you'd beet root to me,
A sweat pea for the sweet way that you always smiled at me,

But you had friends who needed you, there was Ferdi, there was Liza,
So just for them I put down a stinky load of Ferdi-Liza.

There were nine carrots to remind me of the ring I bought for you,
Some mint for all the crazy things that we had mint to do,

A lettuce 'cause your mom and dad would not lettuce alone,
I did't put in the truffles, you had truffles of your own.

An artichoke for the 'hearty jokes' your father used to tell,
And since he was a goober I planted some peanuts as well.

Some shallots for the times I said I love you such-shallot,
Some capers to remind me of what up to which we got.

A turnip for the way you always used to turnip late,
A melon for the meloncholy way I used to wait.

There's gooseberrys to remind me of the pinches you gave to me,
An eggplant because you used to egg me on incessantly,

Then my so-called friend Gus stole your heart, and you left with him too,
And the fungus that now grows reminds me of the fun Gus is having with you.

Now the rockery's a mockery, with weeds it's overgrown,
The fuchsia's gone, 'cause I couldn't face the fuchsia all alone.

And my tears fell like raindrops from the sky above,
And poisoned all the flowers in my garden of love."

Fluke bows

ONEIDA: "Awwww, that's so sweet! You must have loved this girl so much!... did you really plant all this stuff?"

FLUKE: "That's right."

ONEDIA: "...and you dedicated your life to farming over this? This one girl that broke your heart?... and then wrote a poem in her memory?"

FLUKE: "Yep, and yep."

ONEIDA: "Wow, how romantic! What was her name?"

FLUKE: "Oh, heck, i dunno... but here's another poem I wrote for some other chick that came along a few weeks later. It mighta been Corde... yeah, Corde... as least, I think it was Corde:


I rise at six and then I feed the chicks,
And I'm feeling lonesome and blue,
And when I milk the cow it seems, somehow,
My thoughts keep straying to you.

And as the ronto and I plough the field nearby,
Your memory I can't erase,
For while I walk behind the ronto, my dear,
I can only picture your face.

Side by side we will take a ride,
In my ronto-pulled buggy one day,
And when the daylight ends and the night descends,
And my ronto'll run out of hay,

I will kiss your lips, those tempting lips,
The only ones that can thrill me,
And I'll hold you tight 'neath the stars so bright,
If Sabe ever finds out she'll kill me.

Fluke bows

teh judges silently look at one another...

FLUKE: "uh... OK, one more... This here's a poem that personifies the Gungan spirit of determination, and their will for success:


They said that it could not be done,
but one Gungan said "Let me try."
They said, "Other Gungans have tried and failed,"
and he answered, "But not I."

They said, "It is impossible!"
He said, "There's no such word."
He closed his mind and his heart
to the negative he heard.

He said, "Within the heart of Gungans,
there is a tiny seed.
It grows until it blossoms,
it's called the will to succeed.

Its roots are strength, its stem is hope,
its petals inspiration,
Its thorns protect its strong green leaves,
its grim determination.

Its stamens are its skills
which help to shape each plan,
For there's nothing in the universe
beyond the scope of Gungan."

They thought that it could not be done,
some even said they knew it,
But then he faced what could not be done -
sure 'nuff, he couldn't do it."

Fluke bows

Starbucker Out


Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

In the workd of Jar Jar Kipling: "you a better man than I, Gungan Didn't"

12:04 PM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

Hopefully the judges won't understand how that last poem ended...

1:20 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

There's nothing like good poetry. Literally.

And a follow up to:

I saw her heiney,
all white and shiney.

You make me giggle
When you make it wiggle

1:31 PM  
Blogger flu said...

oh! I remember another that I was inspired to write on the Planet Tex-Mex...

...but now that I think about it... y'all prolly don't want to hear that one...


1:44 PM  
Blogger JawaJuice said...

oh the puns...the puns...
so beautiful...

1:59 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Hopefully Sabe won't watch this episode of the show, if she does you might be in a bit of trouble.

Speaking of bums, I remembered this poem from when I was little

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet
And what a big tuffet she had.
So if you're feeling insecure
Just stand next to her
And then you won't feel quite so bad.

Nice job Fluke, I'm sure you made the judges think

2:08 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

{Still looking confused}

How come no one's poetry makes sense except mine?

4:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol you should have used the hiney one you would have one

nothing like a HI-NI :P

5:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Rontos Behind I see your face ?

Man ya got stones I'll give ya That, That ones gonna cost ya

7:41 PM  
Blogger Qui-Gon Jinn said...

*tap snap snap tap*

8:48 AM  
Blogger Plo Koon said...

Like Benny Hill?

6:05 PM  

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