Thursday, February 23, 2006

Padme: Prepare to Die!

 As Jar Jar ran off like a blathering child, we all stood near JJ’s door watching the approaching pirate ships. So totally NOT cool. With the knowledge of how much liquor was stashed in JJ’s room, I knew we had to take some serious action. I calmly gathered everyone together in huddle-like fashion and got them geared up.

“K, like, we need to totally kick some pirate booty here. Whatever happens out there, follow my lead. I'm SO not interested in getting into a war here. As a member of the Senate, maybe I can, like, find a diplomatic solution to this mess.”

“Sorry, flygirl, you’re on your own,” said JJ. “This is my room and I’ve got a plan.” He ran off like a madman, uh, madjawa. Hmph! Then the rest of the housemates split up, all with their own ideas of how to fight the pirates. Great. Just great.

I stood alone on the beach and watched a pirate run through the water toward me. I tossed off my cloak, rolled up my sleeves and drew my blaster.

Pirate: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Padme, pointing blaster at him: K, whatever.

Pirate: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Padme: Like, you just said that.

Pirate: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Padme: You are like totally freaking me out, dude. Who is your father?

Pirate: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Padme: Shuh! I didn’t kill anyone!

Pirate: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Padme: Are you like some kinda mental case?

Pirate: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

He finally drew his sword and lunged at me. I blasted him square in the chest. He stumbled back and fell. I backed away slowly, looking around to see where everyone else was. Bummer, I totally didn’t want to hurt anyone.

Suddenly, he stood up and started toward me again.

Pirate: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Padme: DUDE! You are like INSANE!

I nailed him again with my blaster and then roundhouse-kicked him upside the head. Captain Typho and Oneida ran over and fought at my side. He was pretty much toast, and the three of us stood over his limp body.

Pirate (sputtering and coughing): Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Typho: What is he talking about?

Padme: Beats me. The dude’s whacked.

Oneida: Hey, that name sounds really familiar. I think my clones once told me it was the real name of some bounty hunter... what was his name? Um... Wait, I got it – Boba Fett. Inigo Montoya must be Boba Fett.

Padme: Boba, it wasn’t your fault. (pause)

Padme: It wasn’t your fault. (pause)

Padme: It wasn’t your fault. (pause)

Typho: Yeah, wasn’t it Mork?


6 Comments:

Blogger JawaJuice said...

Man, that guy just wouldn't shut up. Maybe another pirate was keeping him around as a parrot.

6:23 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

At least he didn't have a R.O.U.S with him. Did you see the Dread Pirate Roberts in the distance?

6:42 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

R.O.U.S *shudder*

7:18 PM  
Blogger Jabafatboy said...

He was in search of the six fingered girl. Surley Padme is not the six fingered girl.

Its..Its.. Its INCONCIEVEABLE!!

5:23 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

better double check, is he mostly dead or all dead?

5:43 AM  
Blogger flu said...

R.O.U.S.'s? I don't think they exist.

8:04 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home