Monday, February 13, 2006

Oneida: Poetry; A Breathing Exercise

Poetry? Is he serious? I really don’t like poetry. When I was younger (16), I was taken to a poetry reading on a date. I was dating this kinda artsy guy who thought it’d be wonderfully deep and profound to go listen to people read their poetry. After 10 minutes of listening to that stuff, I was willing to chew my hand off to get out of there. It was a bunch of whiney people with nothing better to do than put their unhappiness into a rhyme scheme and then make others listen to it. I’m sure there is good poetry out there, but it certainly isn’t going to come from me, and I don’t think we’ll be hearing any in this house if we have to appeal to Gungan sensibilities.

Ok, so I tried a haiku

Tall, serene, and wise
Qui-Gon, Jedi Warrior
Forgot to parry

Uh, no, I’ll get hurt for that one, and deservedly so. But I liked the idea of writing about Qui-Gon, I mean, he did save us and the Gungans. And the last book I read was a biography on him, so I’m in that subject mindset. And yes, I had quite the school-girl crush on him. But I’m past that. I figured I’d give it another try, but not in haiku form.

Ode to Qui-Gon
Tall, serene and wise
Great Jedi warrior
To the challenge he did rise
To help save Nubian posterior
Saw possibilities in many places
Saw potential in many faces
Oh, Brave defender, Qui-Gon Jinn
I’m really bummed Maul did him in

I handed Jar Jar the paper. “Whatsa yousa thinkin mesa gonna do wit dis?” he asked me. “Uhh, read it and marvel at its great profound implications?” I offered. “Nosa, yousa gonna hafta read it in fronta all da contestants.” He smiled at me, pointed to the front of the room, and pushed me forward.

I looked at the faces of all the people I’d lived with for over four weeks. The desire to run away and hide under my bed welled up in my chest, but my feet stayed firmly planted to the floor. Stupid feet. I'm scared of speaking in front of others, and that I'd have to read my terrible poetry, that made it even worse. Not to mention the cameras. The Gungan judges at first looked solemnly at me, then after a bit, they looked a little perplexed when I didn’t say anything. I have no idea how long I stood there, but then my brain came up with another plan, and no, still not a good one, but it’d get me done pretty quick. “An Ode to Qui-Gon” then I paused, took a very deep breathe, and


I was a bit dizzy from the endeavor, but I was done. I took the judges silence to mean I could leave. I hurriedly made my way out of the center of the room and sat between Typho and Jon, the two people I hoped wouldn’t give me too much grief about my dumb poem.


Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Bodyguard she was
Commando raids she does now
And poems scare her? What??

10:11 PM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...


Don't be nervous -- you did well.

Brave of you to go first.

10:47 PM  
Blogger Barriss Offee said...

You do know that you said your poem in under one minute!

10:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

its was great Onida

12:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well done oneida, you have proven that you are not vogen.

:-) :-)

4:53 AM  
Blogger flu said...


6:50 AM  
Blogger Qui-Gon Jinn said...

*tap tap tap*

8:19 AM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Qui, I'd help if you could.
Look around, maybe there is a glow in the dark hatch release you could pull.

9:18 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Stand back sister, let me show you how it's done.

*Puts on sunglasses*

1:38 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Thanks for the feedback everyone :)

*leans head against Typho's shoulder and waits to be impressed by Jon*

6:34 PM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

Excuse me for a second while I help Jon...

7:30 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Wow, Ranae, that was, like beautiful.

{Sigh} Qui-Gonn... He was a hottie...

But you need to join Toastmasters or something to overcome that fear of speaking. It's, like, a totally important life skill, ya know.

5:31 AM  
Blogger JawaJuice said...

Very well done.
I'm sure I'll never hear the end of it when I get back to the flat.

7:51 AM  
Blogger Jaina Solo said...

Hey, that was really good!
Not that I expected it to be bad.

8:52 AM  

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