Monday, February 27, 2006

Oneida: Art that Might Endure, Maybe

I pondered the latest challenge. My medium is dance, but I'm really not a big fan of interpretive dance. Too easily could the glory of a sunrise look like the bad results of a night on the town. I can do traditional Naboo calligraphy, but that’s just letters, I can also write a few other languages. My painting skills are ok, but just aren’t anything I’d write home about. Sculpture would be a logical choice. But I would not employ the wheel, I’m thinking more impressive, something elegant yet sturdy. Ice would be different, but it’s too warm out, and with my luck, some artists would drone on and on about the implications of a single brush stroke and how it takes their painting from mundane to genius. By the time they’d get to me, I’d have a puddle to present. I also thought about carving a life size Yoda out of butter, but we only have three sticks of it in the refrigerator, so it wouldn’t really work, I’d only have about half an ear. It's hammer and chisel time.

My first effort was quite nice, but the rock was a bit flimsy. It started to fall apart. And honestly, who wants to look at some guy who’s lost his arms and most of his hair. Sheesh, not very inspiring, that type of injury would be a career ender, nobody wants to follow someone that uncoordinated or unlucky. The arms fell off my second statue, but that’s probably for the best, the camera men were way too interested in it. The head wouldn't stay on my thrid one, which I had really liked. Carving pleats in stone is very hard. Maybe I could stick another head on it later. I'm not sure if all the head and arm loss is a sign of something.

I was mulling another project when I realized I should probably try to appeal to the judge some. I thought long and hard about what would appeal to the Chancellor as I worked on my newest marble statue. The others had been made out of limestone, I think that’s why they disintegrated so easily. But this, this would last much longer, for better or for worse.

Finally, I was done. Covered head to toe in stone dust, I presented my statue to the Chancellor.

I hope *cough* he likes it and *cough cough* this cough isn’t permanent. And just in case that doesn’t appeal to him, while I was really tired and loopy, I did a quick bronze fountain. Very unique. And to be honest, now that I've had some sleep, it makes no sense to me. But that's what art is all about, confusing people.


Blogger Son Goku said...

Oreo's Yay! and it's a commercial yay!

9:59 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

No no no, Ranae, Chancelor Palpatine likes Fruit Strips Gum.

Quick, change the statue!


3:41 AM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Very impressive. I thinks plaps will like your interptation of him, but he will now want "model: for you.

Is the last piece the Hutt last party. I swear I see Oola in the background.

10:05 AM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

Ack! Speedos!

7:19 PM  
Blogger Camera Guy said...

Very uhhhh well done!

11:19 PM  
Blogger Camera Guy said...

Our preparation of the challenge is here

11:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

very well done Onieda

8:23 AM  
Blogger flu said...

Man, did'ja carve these Oreos out of stone, too? They're hard as a rock...

Hey! Who left the Oreos open?

11:36 AM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

No, I found them pretty far back in a cabinet, behind the Lannik Loops and Bothan Bits.

And *slaps Fluke's hand* this isn't edible art unitl after the final choice is made.

12:29 PM  
Blogger Epsilon 775 said...

Wow, you're a great artist. I tried to make a sculpture out of broken droids once. In short, Gamma 495 thought it was a real droid, and blasted it to pieces. Awesome works Lt. Cmdr!

6:58 PM  
Blogger flu said...

*rubs hand and looks at Jardena funny*

8:13 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Stop giving me funny looks! It's making me self-conscious

*pouts a bit*

8:45 PM  

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