Tuesday, February 07, 2006

J.J.: Slight of Hand

Big Brother camera man #11 (Jack): So who do we got to watch today?

Big Brother camera man #12 (Dave): That little Jawa guy.

Jack: So what’s he been up too?

Dave: Not much today. He’s just been at that table drawing, I think.

Jack: What an idiot. Is he inbred or something?

Dave: He’s a jawa. I think they’re all inbred. Hey, did you catch the big game the other day?

Jack: Oh yeah. My Iron Workers came through again!

Dave: Did you have any money on the game?

Jack: Hell yeah! How about you?

Dave: Yeah, I lost it.

Jack: Told you you shouldn’t have bet on those Womphawks.

Dave: Yeah…yeah….whatever.

Dave: sigh.

Dave: Why couldn’t we get an assignment watching Commander Oneida instead of this little moron?

Jack: Oh man, yeah! Oneida is HOT!!!

Dave: You’re telling me? Damn, she’s fine.

Jack: So is that Padmé…

Dave: Damn right. Even Noel is hot in her own cyborg way.

Jack: Man! They are all hot! Oneida, Padmé, Noel, Typho. All of them are smoking!!

Dave: Damn right they a- What did you say?

Jack: Hey is that little twirp gonna just sit there all day?

Dave: uh…I guess so. ….uh, no really, what were you just say-

Jack: You know who really bugs me in this house?

Dave: Uh…well, no.

Jack: That host Jar Jar Binks. Man, he really drives me nuts with the way he talks.

Dave: Yeah, that can get kinda annoying.

Jack: And he always smells like pond scum too.

Dave: Yeah, and the contestants this season…they must really be scraping the bottom of the barrel if they’re using these losers. I mean come on…A founder of the new Jedi Order wannabe? Not even a real founder but a wannabe?

Jack: Or that Yoda guy too. That guy is so old he makes rocks look young.

Dave: Wasn’t he playing in the super bowl halftime?

Jack: No, that was Keith Richards.

Dave: oh….Hey! What was that?

Jack: What was what?

Dave: the screen got all blurry for a second.

Jack: Man, you’re trippin. How much did you drink last night anyway?

Dave: I don’t know, I lost count.

Jack: So who do you think is gonna win this game?

Dave: Who cares. They’re all a bunch of dorks anyway.

Jack: Really? I thought Jabafatboy was gonna win it for sure.

Dave: Jaba? Really?

Jack: Oh yeah. That guys got some mad, slug-like skills.

Dave: Oh yeah? Then how come he got voted off?

Jack: I don’t know. The audience don’t know quality people when they see em.

Dave: Hey, did I tell you I met that galactic gladiator, Jon?

Jack: No kidding? Really?

Dave: Yeah. It was after one of his matches. He was walking away and I asked him for an autograph.

Jack: What did he do?

Dave: He threw me the sweaty shirt off his back like THAT was supposed to be some big trophy for me or something. Hit me in the face. Made my eyes sting for days afterwards.

Jack: Whatta prick!

Dave: Hey, you think Padmé is gonna sneak into J.J.’s room tonight and steal another bottle of Tequilla?

Jack: She’s been doing that for six nights straight. Don’t see why she won’t make it an even seven.

Dave: I still say that Grievous fellow will go postal near the end and start killing everyone in the house…only they can’t get out of the house and they’ll all die horrible deaths.

Jack: Ahhh…that would make great T.V., wouldn’t it?

Dave: But he keeps one of the girls alive as his slave and…Hey! There goes that camera again.

Jack: It’s those cheep-ass cameras they got in there. Ol frog-face didn’t have enough money to upgrade to the good ones.

Dave: Boy, this job blows.

Jack: You’re telling me. Next time I’m applying for cameraman on Survivor. At least there you can-

Dave: Hey, wasn’t there a coconut on the table earlier?

Jack: A what? Man, are you smoking on the job again?

Dave: No. Well, a little. But that’s not the point. I could have sworn I saw a…

Jack: - Hey! Why’s the little guy walking bowlegged all of a sudden?


Blogger Captain Typho said...


That's the best post in the game so far.

9:53 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Did he stick that thing up his...?

Nevermind, I don't want to know.

Great post.

9:59 AM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

LOL, I agree, too funny.

10:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree this is the best one so far

WAY to go JJ lol

11:57 AM  
Blogger Noel of Neptonian said...

Very funny....

Just remind me not to go near that coconut when it's over.

12:02 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Nice trick, your like a sneaky little jawa jedi. It must be the power of the fur.( or reform school)

8:30 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Totally awesome! You rock JJ!

7:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great Job !! Just stay away from the Nomes

6:08 PM  

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