Friday, February 10, 2006

The Finden

Jar Jar: Okeyday, yousa time issen up. Now, mesa will searchen der house with mesa cameras, and comen to looky around mesaself as well.

Jar Jar: Yousa hiden Yoda’s gimer cane in a berry clever place, but itsa sticken through der wall and in front of mesa camera. Too easy.

Jar Jar: Mesa might noah have finden der lightsabre yousa stealen from Grievous, but yousa failen to taken one ting into account: mesa loven Uber Branflakes! Imagine mesa surprise when a lightsabre turnen up in mesa breakfast bowl.

Jar Jar: Heh heh. Yousa tinken mesa would noah finden yousa magic eye picture, didn’t yousa? Too easy.
*One of the cameramen sniggers*
*The other cameraman giggles*
Whatsa so funny?
*Jar Jar whirls around trying to see what they’re laughing at, then notices the piece of paper stuck to his back saying “Jon Rulez”*
Oh. Der magic eye picture wassen noah… ah. Well… er… thissen still counts. Mesa finden yousa item!

Jar Jar: Now, where could itsa… hey! Jack! Yousa supposed to be flimen mesa, okeyday! Whatsa so fascinaten about Padme’s chest?
Jack: Er… nothing…
Jar Jar: Then whysa are yousa getten an extreme close-up of– hey. Wait a minute. There…
*Jar Jar reaches forward and plucks a cork from Padme’s cleavage*
Padme: Hey! That’s, like, harassment
Jar Jar: Ah-hah! So thissen yousa item!

Jar Jar: Yoda, Bob der Bantha issen way too big.
Yoda: Bob the Bantha? Here he is not. Sent him back to Coruscant I did.
Jar Jar: Hesa right dere behinden der curtain.
Yoda: No, left the building, Bob the Bantha has. See him I do not. Hallucinating are you, Jar Jar.
Jar Jar: Never mind...

Jar Jar: Now, thatsa leaven Typho, Fluke, Jawajuice, and Noel. If yousa can show mesa where yoursa items were hiden, yousa three will winnen der challenge.
Fluke: Oh… well, my item kinda, you know, well…
Jar Jar: Spitten itsa out!
Fluke: It’s in the Theed General Hospital A&E Department.
Jar Jar: Uh-huh. No, really, der challenge is over, mesa lost. Yousa noah need to pretend dat yousa item issen noah here.
Fluke: I sorta… rammed a garden gnome down Dave’s throat.
Jar Jar: WHAAAAAT!!?? Do yousa noah known how much oursa cameramen cost!?
Jack: Actually, you pay us, like, 5 creds an hour.
Jar Jar: Shut up. And yousa, Fluke, yousa losen because yoursa item wassen noah inside der Big Brother house.
Noel: And… uh… my item was burnt up when Jawajuice incinerated the bathroom.
Typho: Well, I can show you where my item is.
Jar Jar: Good. Leaden der way.

In the girls’ room…

Typho: I painted a feather from Noel’s parrot into the molding… here. Or, was it here? No, here… It has to be here somewhere…
Jar Jar: Wesa noah haven all day.
Typho: Oh, this isn’t good… I hid my item too well for even me to find it again…
Jar Jar: Den yousa losen der challenge. Now only onesa person left… Jawajuice.
Jawajuice: About time… I’ve been walking around like this for days…
*He relaxes his legs, and a coconut drops out the bottom of his robe*
Jar Jar: Whoa. How could mesa missen dat?
Jawajuice: Don’t be hard on yourself. Jawas have been hiding illicit merchandise since before the Gungans ever existed.
Jar Jar: Okeyday, so Jawajuice winnen thissen challenge! Hesa will be protecten from one vote in der next voten-offen, whichsa starten now. Oursa contestants can e-mailen votes to mesa – viewers, usen der poll below.

Whosa should be voten off?
Jawa Juice
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Blogger Captain Typho said...

About that garden gnome -- I don't think it was rammed down Dave's throat...

6:16 AM  
Blogger Vampirella said...

yeah I agree it was way to low

good luck everyone

6:42 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Good thing the competition is over JJ, imagine trying to carry that coconut through the security gate at the Naboo International Spaceport.

9:07 AM  
Blogger JawaJuice said...



9:15 AM  
Blogger Jar Jar Binks said...

"I don't think it was rammed down Dave's throat..."

*Ahem* Fluke... Mesa will be checken with der health department about thissen...

12:04 AM  
Blogger flu said...

BUt!... but!... Dave, uh... fell on that gnome.

...and it's true: it wasn't down his throat. He had that junk in his trunk.

7:00 AM  

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