Thursday, January 19, 2006

Yoda: Eat It or Wear It, You Must

Hard on this I worked. Much delicious, healthy food I cooked for this challenge. Very appetizing I made it. Give Jabafatboy the "Runs" for a week it will. Hee hee!

But very good food it is. Juicy Sarlacc intestines I prepared, garnished with chunky Womprat livers, followed by roast muppet. I bet watering as you read that, your mouth was. Yummy it sounds, hmm?

At first, up at it, Jabafatboy turned his nose. Rediculous that was! Great big globs of slithering fat, Hutts are! Get off turning his nose up at anything, where does he? That he better watch himself, I warned Booger Face.

But finally, a big baby he quit being and down he sat to eat it. Disparaging comments, the other contestants made.

"You're not going to eat that crap, are you?" Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said.

"Yeah," Young Starbucker said, "I've smelled better odors coming from things that were dead."

Hmph! Jealous they were! Get to eat such good food they would not! So the first bite, Jabafatboy took.

"Hey, that's perty good! Not everybody can cook muppet right. But that is might tasty! I like eatin the ears first."

"Whoa, hey, Jaba, you mind chewing with your mouth closed, there, buddy?" JJ said as his hands he put over his eyes.

A point he had. Spraying all over the room, pieces of intestine, muppet, and womprat liver were.

"Ew!" Senator Amidala said, "You, like totally spattered my clothes! Like gross!"

"Ah, my good eye!" Captain Typho said, "Some of it hit me in the eye! I can't see!"

"You're lucky," Jango Fett said, "You don't have to witness this. My God, it's awful... I... I think I'm going to be si... brrrr.... brrrr.... brrrrawwwllllfff. Oh God, I didn't get my helmet off in time."

Phase Jabafatboy, none of this did. Close his mouth he did not. And then, talking while eating, he started. The more he ate, the chattier he became. Now spraying all over the walls, the food was. "Yeah, this reminds of that time back when I was a teenager, when me and my buddies borrowed my Dad's huttrod... Whoops! I flicked some Sarlacc intestine on myself. There it is, trapped in the folds of my fat. I'll just take it out and eat it."

"Ewwwww!" in unison, the whole crowd said.

Several bites of that, he took. "Hey, that's not Sarlacc intestine! That's an old hot dog from that wienie roast last Summer! Man, how long has that been there?"

"I can't take anymore!" Noel yelled, "Please, just make him stop!"

"Stop?!" Jabafatboy said, "I haven't even finished yet! Oops! Now see what you made me do! A piece just flew up my nose! That bad boy's way up in there, too. Dang these short fingers!...

...I'll have to get it with my tongue...

...There! Got it! chomp chomp ... Ha ha! Wait! That ain't no intestine! I better try it again."

By now, running for the bathrooms while cupping their hands over their mouths, everyone was. Get a bathroom quick enough I could not. Fortunately, his blast helmet, Young Starbucker left laying around. (I wonder if warn Young Starbucker before his helmet he puts on again, I should.)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

If ya cant stand the Heat Get Outa the Kitchen !!!

Bunch a Lilly livered weenies!!!


5:27 AM  
Blogger NandeHi said...

Ya - Got that right Jaba. (thought to myself - if I suck up enough maybe I will get that bottle of Brinda for free)

6:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


6:31 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

The only way your could've made that any better would be to wash it down with a can of Old Mos Eisely.

7:06 AM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Oh.My.God. Spattering intestines, barfing in helmets, nose-picking tongues. Like, I guess reality TV doesn't get any better than this. Now, I'm totally off to take, like, a two-hour shower.

7:10 AM  
Blogger Master Yoda said...

Bunch a Lilly livered weenies!!!

Cooking lilly-livered weenies, I almost considered.

7:25 AM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

I am so happy I got lost looking for a chem shower after yoda got finished cooking. Hearing about it will be bad enough.

But kudos on going for a healthy meal, Master Yoda, what did Jar Jar think of it?

8:04 AM  
Blogger flu said...

Master Yoda found a way to leave me more presents. I shoulda brought my backpack that I used to use in training.

Thanks, heaps.


10:37 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home