Friday, January 13, 2006

Yoda: Arrived I Have

Suprised by how easy to get on multiple reality shows, I am. Anyway, at the house I am now. The last one to arrive I am, it seems.

The other contestants I have met. Among them, Senator Amidala, Lt Cmdr Oneida, General Wheezus, Captain Typhoid, and of course, two Jedi Masters, Kenobi and I, are. If here, all of us are, fighting the war, who is?

Happy to see General Wheezus, I was not. Immediately threatening me, he started. "I'll cough kick your little cough green riddle monkey butt!"

"Hmph! Scare me you do not, Tin Man! Want me to get out my can opener do you?"

Still, too bothered that in the house he was, I was not. In fact, come to terms with all the doofuses other contestants in the house, I had. ... Until, him I saw.

"Oh Lord, don't tell me they let you in here! My arch-enemy!" he said.

"Hello, Jabafatboy."

"Hello yourself!" he scowled, "You better watch yourself! I been trainin' in Hutt-Fu. I can defend myself perty good!"


Arch-enemies, he thinks we are. Hmph! Masters of the Dark Side of the Force, my arch-enemies are. Armies they command. In a trailer park, Jabafatboy lives. The only army he commands is the twenty cats who in his trailer live. With my arch-enemies, epic light saber battles I engage. Mostly of making prank phone calls to the Jedi Temple, Jabafatboy's attacks consist.

"Hey, do youns sell Prince Albert in a refrigerator? Well, you better check to see if he's runnin! HA HA SNORT! HA!"

No wonder, like to talk about that branch of the family Jabba the Hutt does not. But there, standing in his Jabba Skynyrd T-shirt which was seven sizes too small for him he was. [Note to overweight people: If an "outie" belly-button you have, wear tight shirts do not!]

Then, worse it got. Since the last one to arrive I was, stuck rooming with Jabafatboy, I was! Learned more than I want to know about him already, I have. To gargle with baking soda a full-hour before going to sleep he has to. 'Wards off the throat boogers' he says. Be so bad that would not if sang All My Exes Live In Texas over and over again while gargling he is, he did not! And started on the snoring do not get me! Work on a Hutt, those nasal strips do not! Heard quieter leaf blowers, I have.

Going to be fun this is not.


Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Maybe Jar Jar will let you sleep in Jango's Slave I.

5:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alright You!!! We gotta put up with each other for a while, I ,m not any crazier about it than you are.

But I wrote a few rules down while I was waitin. TYa better read em.

And leave my YADDLE Poster alone !!!!

5:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh !! And meet my Midget Huntin Bantha, he wants the other bed.

Gonna have ta fight him For it.


5:57 AM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Don't worry Master Yoda. Like, at least it can't get any worse.

6:19 AM  
Blogger JawaJuice said...

Hey, don't underestimate those 20 cats he has. Once time they chased me for ten miles while singing that hideous song

...oh the horror.

8:47 AM  
Blogger Anakin Skywalker said...

Know what's sweet? With you and Obs gone.... nobody's keepin an eye on me. Me an Windu, yo, that's all that's keepin the galaxy from... I dunno, doom or sumthin.

4:45 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

don't forget Harvey the Youngling, I'm sure he's doing his part

4:50 PM  
Blogger Master Yoda said...

Young Skywalker,

My spies in the Temple I have. Be able to make a move without me knowing , you will not.

7:28 PM  
Blogger JawaJuice said...

Eh, I've seen your spies, Yoda.
mice don't count.

8:28 AM  
Blogger Obi-Wan Kenobi said...

Plus they steal food.

11:30 AM  

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