Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Typho: Puttering in the Kitchen

After listening to Jar Jar's description of the first challenge, JJ and I had a huddle to talk over how we were going to handle this.

"I already know what to cook," said the little Jawa as he puffed on his cigar. "Chilled Bantha testicles. Who doesn't love that? We'll win hands down."

I stared at him.

"No offense, man, but I'm not eating any testicles. Chilled or warm, bantha or... whatever. I'm glad I got voted out before that challenge on Survivor."

"All right then -- spiced Ronto intestines!" His flashlight eyes lit up. I guess he has a particular fondness for that dish.

I gave him a doubtful look. "Intestines? Well... maybe. What was that spiced with? I forget."

"Urine. And Sarlacc spittle."

"Aw, hell no!"

The lights dimmed a bit. "Fried scurrier?"

"NO! Dude, I've got to eat this stuff without hurling! Don't they make anything easy to digest on Tatooine? Look, maybe I should make something. After all, half of this contest depends on Jar Jar liking what we cook. I don't know a lot about Gungan cuisine, but we use some of the same ingredients in human food on Naboo. Maybe I should do this."

"I suppose I could manage to wolf down some foreign food," JJ responded slowly.

"Okay," I said. "I'll see what ingredients are available in the kitchen and I'll get started."

"Knock yourself out," said the Jawa grudgingly. He did sound somewhat offended, but I figured I could apologize later.


In the kitchen...

The scene was one of controlled chaos as the would-be chefs fought for and over counter space, use of utensils and most of all, choice ingredients.

My first instinct was to try to make a fish chowder, only the fish was snatched up before I could get to it. That left me to choose between kaadu steaks and chuba broth as the only options left for native Naboo meats. Unfortunately, Gungans keep kaadu as pets and mounts, so that choice might've made Jar Jar gag.

Chuba broth, then.

I've seen Jar Jar eat frogs (very messy), so it was probably a good choice for a stock. Realizing that I was running out of time, I hurried to make a sauce out of the broth, flour and some ikopi milk. I boiled some noodles, added the white sauce and sprinkled some seaweed flakes on top. Frankly, the dish was a little salty, but not terribly so. Jar Jar might even like that.

"You want to try it?" I said to JJ, offering him a sample.


Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

*rests chin on hand, tilts head slighty, looks at Typho* When did you learn to cook like that?

9:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ewwwwwwww what no blood sausage

9:54 AM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

I can only work with the materials I'm given, Vampirella. :)

10:52 AM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

Putting the finishing touches on the dish.

Looks at Jardena from the corner of his eye…

Oh, I picked up some tips from a girl I used to know. But mostly I’m faking my way through this.


12:21 PM  
Blogger Master Yoda said...

I think maybe confusing this with Fear Factor, you are.

1:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We are definantly gonna need a bigger kitchen !!

3:22 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

I'm sure she was very talented
*nuetral smile*

3:55 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

The picture makes it look yummy, it's just the secret ingredient...
Nice job

9:05 PM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

Talented? Certainly. Also a little neurotic, but a good friend.

smiles to himself

9:33 PM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

It was yummy -- before the "mystery meat" was added.

9:35 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

*arches eyebrow* just a friend?

And you seem to have a thing for slightly neurotic women. Why is that?

9:53 PM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

I don't know. Maybe I like drama? I don't always do what's best for me.

smiles to self

7:00 AM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Alright, like, Typho & Ranae (or Jardena or whatever) - WHAT is up with you two? Somebody better come sit with me and like, give me some background here. I totally have to know.

7:04 AM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

After she tells you her (biased!) side of the story, I get a chance for a rebuttal, okay?

7:41 AM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

?!? My sides biased and yours isn't?
*rolls eyes dramatically* maybe the women in your life aren't neurotic, maybe it's just you *pokes him the middle of the chest for emphasis*

8:49 AM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

Me, neurotic? I'm very laid back. I, for example, wouldn't poke a young lady to make a point. ;)

8:58 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:03 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Nor would I, not a good idea to put one's hand on the chest of a woman.

1:09 AM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

Chuckles to self, as if to say, “You’re missing something obvious.”

Then goes back to adding finishing touches to his dish.

8:49 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

*shakes her head, then heads over to where Fluke is working, and leans in towards him to see what he's making, and puts her hand lightly on his arm*

10:25 PM  

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