Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Starbucker: and so it begins...

The renovation of the century. We figured out what would be our dream room if the house were our own... since we each are in the running to own it afterwards anyhoo.

It seems both Typho and Jon have some grand ideas about the room... but me, not so much... I guess I don't really care how it ends up... as long as there's like, a wide-area hologram projection media center with a gaming station and a wet bar.

"Hey guys... you both have some really great ideas there... and they seems to mesh with mine - and each other's... why don't you like, jot down the necessities on this here notepad, and I'll go do the thrift shopping to try to get as muchy of it as possible, while you two work out the details. We've gotta start moving if we want to complete our renovations by the week's end."

while they were jostling over the pen to write crap down, I noticed a commotion out the window... I think Jon and Typho mumbled something to each other, but I couldn't make out just what they were saying...

TYPHO: finishing up his part of the list, and handing it to Jon "Jon?... do you think Fluke can get all this stuff for just $600 credits? Maybe we should prioritize it just in case."

JON: "Maybe... On second thought... Nah, let's not. It would just confuse him." Jon then put a 1 beside each of the items he had added

FLUKE: "Hey look at this... Padme's already out there blowing wads of cash on... wha- it looks like clothes or something - out there... "

We then actually all rolled our eyes in unison. Man! These guys are the best roommates!

So, I took the completed list and began out the door, when Typo spoke,
"HEy, Fluke... do good. Remember, you only have 600 cred to work with. If you have to sacrifice anything to keep it in budget - make sure it's NOT the shag carpet."

I turned to look at him... and the look on his face was serious...

So, then Jon chimed in: "No, way, man. If there is anything that HAS to be got, it the Spiderman crime lab wallpaper."

FLUKE: "Look, I'm gonna get all I can... even if I can't score everything you guys put down here, we've got major construction skills to work with, and a keen sense of... of... uh... well, uh... ok, my mind went blank. I'd better go get this stuff before I... uh..."

...and I was out the door.

As I walked out to the oasis of street vendors and bargain-bin trucks and ships that had come to Naboo just for this event, I looked over the list of items... sheesh, this is a bunch of cool stuff, I thought to myself... what great roommates!

I knew I had to be discerning in which vendor to go to first...

So, I approached the first one I saw...

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"Well, Haaaow-deee" he said, with a voice that sounded more like a yodel than anything else, "Haney's the name, tradin's the game. What can I do ya for, yung feller?"

FLUKE: "Well, I need to gather all of the items on this list."

HANEY: "Hooo-Wee! That's a list, alrite!"

FLUKE: "Yes, that's why I called it that. Do you have any of these items?"

Free Image Hosting - www.supload.com HANEY: "Maybe...say! What's yor name, feller?"

FLUKE: "Uh... I hardly see where that matters... I'm Fluke. Do you have anything from this list?"

HANEY: "YOU'VE cometotheright PLACE, my boy! Let me see here..."

He turned and started digging in the back of his shuttle...

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...and mumbling

HANEY: "We gots a lots of this here 'listed' stuff you needs...

...right'chere... yep... riiii-chere.

Here y'ar."

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FLUKE: "Uh... wha-? That's not on the list."

HANEY: "Shore it is! This here's a genuwine, artifishal, arthentic, one-of a kind moisture vaporatur... direct from Foley's."

FLUKE: "Nuh-uh. That's a harp."

HANEY: "Oh... so that's how you play, eh? well, you're just as thoughty as a bluebird flying over a tumbled down yellow barn, aren't ya? OK, then, how's about this here?

FLUKE: "What? An abstract painting of a cow? I don;t think so."

HANEY: "This?"

FLUKE: "A plucked chicken?"

Then a voice off camera called out to me... getting my attention: "Hey, you can't trust him! His voice never made it through puberty!"

FLUKE: "Who are you?"

JOE: "Joe, Joe Isuzu."

HANEY: "Oh, for pete's... Joe, every time I see you, it reminds me of a speckled hen sitting under a little green wagon."

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FLUKE: "Hiya Joe, say... I'm out here shopping and uh... do you have any of this stuff on this list?"

JOE: "Oh, YES! I have all of that. In multiple designer colors. And a wide variety of sizes. And most of it is so advanced, it's self installing! And cheap. Not the quality, just the price."

FLUKE: "Really?"

Free Image Hosting - www.supload.com JOE: "Oh, YES! Just come over here and sign this."

FLUKE: "Wait, uh... why do I have to sign anything?"

JOE: "Well, so that.......I .....can......give it to you for FREE!"

FLUKE: "OMG! You're kidding? Even the Spidey wallpaper? Oh, YES! Where is it all?"

HANEY: "He ain't got none of that stuff, son! He ain't even a salesman."

I turn around to ask Joe, but he's gone. Crap! Where'd he go? Man, I was this close... THIS CLOSE!"

HANEY: "Awwww, don't worry about him son, look - Is THIS the type of wallpaper you need?" and he whips the right kind out of his truck!

FLUKE: "Uh, well yeah... but, uh, that's not how I pictured it. Do you think that's really what Jon wanted? Should it look like that?"

HANEY: "Son, are you some sort of interior design guru?" I shake my head, "No"... "Then YES, This is EXACTLY how it's supposed to look. Listen, I know it can be overwhelming, but learning to like wallpaper is like pushing a purple straw hat through a keyhole."

I waited on him to finish... but apparently he had.

Amazingly, he was able to produce every last thing off of his truck, including, three genuine faux Ronto leather recliners, an XboX720, some deep blue shag carpet (new), a photoionic blaster cannon, mirrors for the walls and ceiling, some misc. military stuff, and a full service wet bar, complete with couplings... and some other stuff... and all for just under 600 credits.

I thanked him, to which he said,
"You're more welcome than a little red wagon going up a steep hill." and we parted ways.

Then someone else calle dout to me,
"Hey, do you have the right tools for the job? Are they powerful enough, hu-hu-hu-hu, huh?"

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FLUKE: "Uh, yeah, I got it bud. Thanks, but no thanks."

Man, the guys are gonna be so stoked!

Starbucker Out


Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Shag carpet? That so doesn't go with spiderman crime lab wall paper

8:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW I haven't seen that kinda wheelin and dealin in a long time.

An they Call ME a redneck !!

8:14 PM  
Blogger Master Yoda said...

Spidey wallpaper you chose too?! Great! Now have to scrap our plans, we will!

9:05 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Oneida, everything goes with Spiderman crime lab wallpaper.

10:27 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

ahh, silly me, you are so right, Jon

10:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

*cough* spiderman wall paper *cough*
sounds cool guys

7:17 AM  
Blogger Shannon said...

{shaking her head}

He He He. We just can't lose this one.

8:37 AM  

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