Monday, January 30, 2006

Oneida: What to Use Lemons For...

Hmm, this challenge will require much thought. If people’s pets can help, that’ll make it easier for some, though looking at Obi’s barrel o’ monkeys, they could be more hassle than help.

I plopped down on the couch to ponder what I’d do with lemons. Contestants were milling around, trying to get ready for the challenge. At least the Jedi can’t use the force, so it’s a slightly more level playing field. So what would I do with lemons? And Naboo lemons are slightly more acidic than most lemons found throughout the galaxies. Well, there is the obvious, I could make lemonade. They could be used to put streaks in a person’s hair. Pie, pie is always good. Lemons are helpful for thwarting scurvy, though it's not such a big problem these days. Could always try to use them to clean up the slimy mess the Hutt left, but I don’t think the tree has that many lemons. I wonder if I could make it into an acid etching solution. I grab the closest thing to me to write on, Obi’s two month old wrestling magazine with Rick Flair on it, ugh, this’ll work. I walk over to the sink and sit down so I can inventory the cleaning products. Ok, so with my acidic component, and I have chlorine, and I know where I could get some iron. Well, let’s see, if we use an electrophilic substitution reaction, and hmmm, *scribble scribble scribble* ok, yup, that should work. Now, what do I want to etch, and on where.

Yoda and Grievous walk by, bickering about galaxy politics. Grievous is going on and on about how worthless the Republic Navy is. I’m not the Navy’s biggest fan, but his intense dislike of us does get a bit old. Then it hit me, I could use my lemons to etch the Republic Naval insignia on Grievious, maybe put ‘Property Of” right above it, or maybe 'If Found, Please Return to Republic Navy'.

Where would I put it? While his back would be easier, dead smack on the middle of his forehead would have bit more of an impact. The lemon juice should allow for the variances that would come from his fairly unique composition. I like the forehead idea. And he likes to sleep out in the sun by the pool, so that’d make it even better, let some heat help it along

Will I actually do this? I don’t know. I like my arms attached to my body, my throat not crushed, and my insides, well, inside. But it’s funny to this Navy girl to think of possibly doing it. Maybe I’ll just use the lemons to bleach a Republic insignia in his cat’s fur, might be safer.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol I dare you lol

11:57 AM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

ooohhh, a dare, how can I resist? ;)

12:08 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

(singing and dancing badly) Go Oneida, go Oneida ...Uh sorry Lt. I'll sit back down now.

12:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Go ahead and do it, if he complains tell him it was the Hutts idea.

12:30 PM  
Blogger Vegeta said...

Yes I want to see that. grievous isusually so boring any way.

5:18 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Intergalactic Gladiator Friend, go for it!

Eh, it is too long.

7:15 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Perhaps "IG Friend, go for it' ?

I always prefered 'you can do it' in an odd cajun accent, but that's me.

I'm so going to get hurt if I do it, but it'll earn my brownie points with the powers that be, which could be useful.


7:27 PM  
Blogger General Grievous said...

*Holds up a piece of paper*

"Henceforth Lt. Cmdr. Oneida may not come within 10 metres of General Grievous or she will be subject to fines and possibly jail sentence"

*looks up from paper*

Now I dare you to try it


8:00 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

let me look at that paper Greivous. Hmm seems to be in order... Wait what this, Phlegm and motor oil on the paper... this is a forgery. This paper is not a valid legal document.

(Sherlock Clones strikes again)

8:36 PM  
Blogger General Grievous said...

O but it is, I didn't take those online law lessons for nothing!

It was written by me ande signed by the producer of the show!


8:56 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

What if I put it in a squirt bottle and stand 10 m away? It'd be a bit more impressionist than the normal insignia, but then it'd be unique

And since when does a wanted criminal and a holonet producer qualify as a legal authority to issue a restraining order? I agree with AOC, where is that paper valid?

9:06 PM  
Blogger General Grievous said...

It isn't "legally" valid, just valid within the Big Brother house, now I just got to get the producer to sign it....


11:40 PM  
Blogger Jaina Solo said...

Do it Oneida. Just to annoy him.
Plus it will give us all a laugh.

8:14 AM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Lt. Just a short note to let you I stopped by Naboo this afternoon. I had to get some PRODUCE(er) from the market for the KID before their NAP. but tHE apples WON'T be ripe for a week. I was going to make a SIGN for the apples, but dues to a GRIEVOUS error I ran out of PAPER. (wink wink, nudge nudge) (hidden message rule)

10:17 AM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more, say no more ;)

Thanks for looking out for me, AOC

10:30 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Onedia, are you going to let AOC get away with calling you a lieutenant? A Lieutenant commander outranks a Lieutenant significantly. I think he just insulted you.

12:19 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Lt. Cmdr: My apologies, I think Jon is just trying to gain some advantage in the House. sad...friend turned on friend. All over a few credits. Oh Jon, I thought you were better than that.

(Is he looking remorseful yet Lt. Cmdr.)

12:58 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

nope, he has the same look of resolve that he always has

1:08 PM  

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