Thursday, January 19, 2006

I'M Gonna Have Ta Eat ..." WHAT "

Woke up this mornin ta the smell of fresh coffee brewin, I love that smell.
When I smell that I just know that its gonna be a great day.

As I turned ta get up I notice Yoda settin there starin at me, Smilin, ....Creepy when he does that. Kinda gives ya that full body shiver.

A straw you must pick !!

What ?

A straw you must pick, one short one long, Pick one you must !!

OK ..OK !! Dont get yer Jedi jammies in a bunch!!

So I pulled out a straw and I got the short one.

Short straw you have, First half of challange take I will Hmmmm !

What Challange ?

Read you must .

He tosses me an envelope and giggles as he waddles outa the room . As I read the note inside I realize why he's smiling. HE'S gonna cook a meal from his home planet and I gotta eat it.

Boy , I cant help but feel that this day has just taken a turn for the worse !! I HOPE Oneida has made some good coffee, I think I'm gonna need it.

After my shower I come outa the room , look over toward the kitchen , and sure enough the ole green goblin is whistlin away all dressed up in his Chefs outfit.

The air purifiers are going about 2/3 speed and the smell is already winnin.

I decide if I'm gonna have ta eat this mess I better make sure I got some idea of whats going into the pot. So I slide over and pour myself a cup a coffee . HEY Green Man , what ya got going there ? One of yer mommas ole receipes ?

He quickly turns around and shoves somethin out !


Here , smell this ! Smell fresh to you , does it ? Perhaps a taste you should Take ! Hmmm





What in the world is that ?

Saralaac Intestines, Good for you they are.
Help you lose that Fat they will !

What else you got going in there ?

OHH Never mind, I've seen those before , Whamp rat livers!!


Man those livers look bad ! Smell like they mighta come from livers as old as you are . Hehehehehehehehehe

Whamprat liver, Help gain brain power , they do!!

Am I even gonna be able ta chew this or am I gonna need a Light sabre ta cut it ?

In Terrilian duskimine wine, Marinated they will be . Tasted wine already I have.

Thats when I noticed the yellow green glow in his eyes. Little Peckerwoods already hittin the bottle . Hey Maybe I can use this to my advantage , Hey Yoda !

HMMMM ?

Is this a Home town Receipe ?

No , At home I make this. But in town , Make this I do Not .

No Really, What are YOU anyway ?

A Jedi I am !! Tell from the robes and Lightsabre, You Cannot ?

Well at this point I decided I'd go out back and feed ole Runt, He gets pretty mean when he aint had his breakfast.

We played fetch fer awhile, and I decided I'd take him back inside ta see what the Joplly Green Midget was up to.

As we walked into the kitchen, Runt started screamin at the top of his little lungs ...... RRRUUUNNNNTTTTT...... RRRRUUUUUNNNNNTTTTT, and took off back out the door so fast he snapped the leash in my hand.

THE SMELL WAS HORRIBLE !!

Yoda over in the kitchen cookin with a wide grin on his face, Better'n half the duskimine wine gone. Saralaac Intestines was cookin along with the whamprat livers , boilin over the counter.

Everybody else had decided ta cook later !!

Noel was passed out on the floor. Onedia had on a rubber toxic waste suit , trying ta keep Yoda from fallin head first in the pot. General G was sittin on the couch readin the newspaper . Upside Down.

I looked out the side window , and Typho, Jango, and Padme were dumpin the cookin pans into some drums as fast as yoda was finished with em.


Apparently the rest of the group was refusin ta use those utinsels after yoda was finished with em.


I thought I'd have another go at Ole Yoda , see if I can get any Information outa him about his home world.

Did yer momma teach you this receipe At Home ?

Of Course at home it was. Teach me In town she could not !


What was the name of that town anyway ??

At about this point he started singin 99 fartin banthas on the wall.

I decided that I probably wasn't gonna get anymore answers from him , That Doodfus is Gonna have a Jedi size Hangover Tomorrow.


At Least It Looks Better'n It probably taste!!



Well If I gotta eat this I might as well get it over with.



11 Comments:

Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Of course the coffee is good, or was 'til Yoda started cooking.

Mmm, SCBA, my favorite thing in the world. *looks at my suit* Hmm, I think we might need a decontamination shower after this, there are holes forming in my suit, though this does bring back memories *gets a distant look on her face, and a smile, wanders off to find chem shower*

9:29 PM  
Blogger Noel of Neptonian said...

I wondered what had happened to me.

It was like one minute I was sitting at my computer and I smelled something funky, and the next I was laying in my bed.... four hours later.

11:46 PM  
Blogger Master Yoda said...

My fault it is not that highly toxic, Sarlacc bile is!

11:59 PM  
Blogger NandeHi said...

Sounds like Yoda and the monkey have more in common than we thought. They both have an oder at times.

3:59 AM  
Blogger Jabafatboy said...

The Coffee was great Oneida.

Next time You help Yoda though , go ahead and drop him in the cooking pot !!

Always wondered what OLD CROW would taste like

5:26 AM  
Blogger Vampirella said...

lol... Seems like yoda has no plans to tell where his hometown is

6:31 AM  
Blogger Shannon said...

I can't believe I actually had to wear that like, ugly rubber suit. This reality show is REALLY going to ruin my image.

6:48 AM  
Blogger JawaJuice said...

Sarlacc? sarlacc!! I love sarlacc!! It's the "other" gross meat!
Got any leftovers?

8:17 AM  
Blogger Mr. Sprok said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:32 AM  
Blogger flu said...

Well, this explains why the window was open, AND why my Parrodile fled.

thanks, heaps.




NOT!

10:33 AM  
Blogger Dinorider d'Andoandor said...

WAIIIIIIIT! that was Miss Piggy!

6:09 PM  

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